Disaster's Decline
by Moonlit917
Summary: A secret found by Beast Boy leaves him racing to better himself for a certain Titan. But can he be quick enough?
1. Scars of a Raven

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or its characters. Please enjoy it anyways.**

I gave it all I had. And that still wasn't good enough. It never was. _I_ never was. No matter what, I was always being saved and up-staged. The worst part was, they weren't _trying_ to make me look bad. None of my friends would ever do that. It was just happening naturally.

With a sigh, I entered the tower and walked to my room, losing appetite for food and conversation immediately. Let them celebrate another front-page win. I just wanted to lie down and forget how I screwed up again.

Starfire's musical laughter could be heard even in my room, as well as Cyborg's cheers for a job well done. I sighed again.

Climbing onto the top bunk of my bed, I hit play on the remote held in my hand. Three Days Grace began their infamous song Animal I Have Become. The irony was enough to kill me. Sometimes I almost wished it would.

My mind ran over the events of the day. Sadly enough, I couldn't force the moment where I screwed up to be skipped. I saw it clearly. The exact second where I had faltered by not changing fast enough. Then the moment where I was hit and down for the count came. And Raven standing before me, a shield protecting us both. Cyborg and Robin rushing the enemy, saving us all with a blast from Starfire as well ended the playback.

The song playing lulled me into an unfitful nap for about an hour. I woke to the shouts of Cyborg.

"Yo, BB, wake up! It's time to eat. We're going out for pizza!" came his large voice.

I sat up and told him I was coming in a groggy voice. I jumped down from the bunk and rushed to comb through my hair. Jogging out my door to meet the other titans, I ran into a very familiar violet haired girl. We both stumbled backwards, but neither fell. A sheepish look immediately overcame my grin. "Oh. Raven. I'm really sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going."

Of course, I didn't say I didn't see her. If I had been looking, she would have been the first thing I saw. That seemed to happen a lot lately.

She nodded, not seeming angry at all. Raven actually looked calm, almost peaceful.

"And thanks, for earlier, I mean." I grinned again, grateful for her fixing my stupid mistake.

"No problem."

My grin widened and I followed her through the doors to meet the others. Cyborg called to us, complaining we were keeping him from his precious car. I rolled my eyes, watching Raven shake her head at the half-metal Titan. We followed him without arguments to the garage anyways. Robin sat shotgun while Cy drove. I let Raven climb in, then hopped in the middle. Starfire climbed in after me, excitedly talking about how Cyborg's driving was so much fun and reminded her of something from her planet.

I glanced over at Raven, grinning widely. The empath, however, stared at the window with a blank expression, not really noticing my large smile. She seemed to be thinking about something.

Reaching the pizza place, Starfire practically flew out the door – which isn't actually impossible – and sported a giant, joyful smile while breathing the summer air. I laughed and followed after her, standing to the side so Raven could exit. The violet haired girl got out the car without a sound, allowing me to close the door for her. I claimed a seat next to her while sitting at the booth as well. She said very little, but never complained about me. I watched her carefully, not wanting her to know how long I stared at her during dinner or how intently I was watching her.

We were all laughing and joking, apart from Raven, when the waitress brought our re-filled sodas back. Most of us smiled and thanked her, then began sucking those down just like the last ones. Slowly and gracefully, Raven reached out for her glass of water, the sleeve of her shirt pausing before her arm did. There was a bright red slash, and then accompanied by two more, burning furiously against her pale skin. They didn't look like something you could have done by accident either... I just about choked on my soda, but thought better to say anything. I was glad our night out would soon be over. Because I really didn't know how long I could sit there and watch her act like everything was normal. Truthfully, I hoped her harming herself wasn't as natural to her as her sarcastic quips were.

On the ride back, I sat next to the quiet girl in my own silence. All this time I knew Raven and I never knew her secrets – or why she would do something like that. Cy and Robin teased me about being so quiet for once, but I shoved them from my mind. I had much more important things to think about than them. Even while playing the new Ultimate Death 4: Collector's Edition, I couldn't concentrate at all. Cyborg was victory dancing after every battle. I eventually walked to my room in silence, thinking still of her scars. Of course, he came to talk later, thinking I was upset over losing, but I mumbled about being tired and he left without objection. For a long time, I just lay curled into myself on the top bunk, thinking about how she must've felt in order to harm herself... I knew Raven had to have wished for emotions and yearned to be normal, but I never thought the yearnings would be that strong. I certainly never thought they would be strong enough for her to feel the need to harm herself over. I almost couldn't believe anyone could want something that bad. But, like I said, I _almost_ couldn't believe it… No matter how bad it was, however, I wanted to help her anyway I could. Sadly, it wouldn't be as easy as it sounded. I knew Raven, and I wasn't stupid. After already being hurt by Malchior, she wouldn't be so trusting.

That was when I decided I wanted to help Raven feel normal, if only for an hour or so. I also decided, that night, to better myself. If not for Jump City's safety, then for the scars of a Raven.

**First chapter. I hope you enjoy. I just wanted to try my hand at something new, and love the Raven and Beast Boy pairings.**


	2. Talks of Tea

**Hey people. This is the second chapter. :D Enjoy or flame, I don't care. At least you're reading! I still do not own Teen Titans, or trust me; I would have no need for fanfiction. But since I don't own it, enjoy my fanfiction!**

With a sigh, I crawled out of bed. Still moving slowly, I ran a brush through my hair and changed into my normal clothing. Making no sound, I peeked out my window to see the snow still falling softly. If I had been allowed emotions, I may have let a little smile creep onto my lips or a twinkle to befall upon my eyes. However, that wasn't the case. So I looked onto the half-frozen water and the snow-covered ground with a blank stare. Once I was finished examining the landscape, I exited my room to get my morning tea.

On my way to the Common Room of the Tower, I heard the same song I have heard for months coming from Beast Boy's room. By now I knew it by heart and almost enjoyed hearing it. I honestly didn't even know the name of it, but the song itself was always there. Always present was the man singing about how he can't escape himself or the animal he's become. It was actually a very good song. I usually didn't listen to anything considered rock, but made an exception for that certain song. The door opened just as I passed it, letting the lyrics flow out a lot louder than I'd heard them before. Now I heard every instrument and note, not a word or beat muffled from my hearing.

_So what if you can see,  
__The darkest side of me?  
__No one will ever change this animal I have become.  
__Help me believe  
__It's not the real me  
__Somebody tame this animal I have become  
__Help me believe  
__It's not the real me  
__Somebody help me tame this animal  
__This animal I have become_

"Heya Raven," greeted the green boy.

I nodded my own greeting and continued on my walk. Of course, a slight terror gripped my heart as he followed me. Beast Boy was the only one in this dimension that could make me feel anything. If he hadn't have found out, I would be perfectly unfeeling ninety percent of the time. He did though, and now I felt worry, anxiety, hope, and – damn him – anger. I thought I was very good at hiding things – I certainly had practice at hiding feeling – but maybe Beast Boy was just too attentive. If he hadn't noticed I would still be completely unemotional and unfeeling.

The boy in question eyed me with a hint of worry of his own. "How are you this morning?"

"I'm fine," came my short, blank reply.

He visibly brightened; a huge smile lighting up his forever green face. "That's good."

I nodded once again and continued on to the Common Room. Surprisingly, it was empty. It made me wonder how early I had gotten up exactly. I assumed Robin was working out or going over files. Starfire was likely still asleep and the same with Cyborg. Usually Beast Boy would be sleeping as well, but he was getting up a lot earlier lately. In fact, he'd changed quite considerably since this past summer.

When there was someone – or thing – that was terrorizing Jump City, Beast Boy rarely needed saving or help anymore. I was pretty sure he had even begun to work out some. As noted before, he was getting up earlier as well. He had certainly become very attentive to me as of late. I saw him watching me constantly and every time I noticed this, he had a look of worry hidden in his own eyes. Because of him, I was drug into a lot more things that could be considered socially healthy like going out with the other Titans. It was very rare that he actually got on my nerves anymore – unless he was discussing the secret he never should have found.

Hovering, I went over to the counter and fetched a single tea bag. Turning on the water and waiting for it to warm up, I grabbed a cup and stuck my hand under the running water. Once it was nice and hot, I filled the cup almost full and dipped the small bag of white tea into it. The aroma coming from it calmed my frazzled self and I closed my eyes, breathing in the relaxing scent. I knew Beast Boy was watching me as always.

"Is the tea you drink really that effective?" he questioned.

"Yes." I could have gone into detail about how I had to special order my white tea because the only place I know that has such a relaxing mixture of herbs and tea was in Beijing, China. I chose not to.

"Oh." He was quiet for a moment, allowing me to put a teaspoon of sugar into my tea while enjoying the temporary silence. He spoke again, of course. "How does it work?"

"It blends special herbs with white tea to give off a relaxing feel and scent." Again, I could have gone into great detail about the certain herbs they used and why they worked so well together. I could even tell him exactly where the herbs were chosen and that it was the best place to grow them because of certain conditions. Perhaps if I did he would have asked about why I knew so much about my tea and I would answer him about it. He didn't need to know all of that though…

"Ya know, I've heard that black tea is just as relaxing as white tea," he commented nonchalantly, as if we talked about tea every morning.

I raised my eyebrows, unaware he even knew what kind of tea I drank. "Yes, but I just prefer white tea." And I didn't mention that black tea had a lot more flavors and I preferred to keep my tea as simple and relaxing as possible.

"I'll have to remember that." He did that a lot lately – make vague comments and never let up on the meaning. I merely shrugged at him, not really bothering to give the vagueness a reply with words.

"I'm off to meditate." Before I had made three strides his voice called out to me, a pleading tone underneath.

"Why do you like to stay locked up and alone all the time Rae?"

"I just like to meditate." Without bothering to expand the answer, I began walking but stopped once more when he spoke.

"Staying locked up like that isn't healthy…"

"Do you think I have much of a choice?" I snapped at him with a bit of feral anger in my tone.

Beast Boy looked as if he could say a lot more, but I stalked out the room before he had the chance to open his mouth. Once I reached my room, I suddenly wished my door wasn't automatic so I could close it softly and slide down it.

Unfortunately, wishing didn't help me any. I sat on my bed, trying to collect my thoughts. I wondered first why Beast Boy even cared what I drank, or why he even happened care about anything dealing with me. It was so nerve wracking and confusing, the way the boy in question was. I sighed deeply and began meditating.

Two hours later I had been completely calmed and ready to finish the last thirty minutes of finding my self-control when someone banged on my door rather loudly. Letting it slide, I opened the door to see Beast Boy standing there with a large grin. Only he would bother with bothering me during my meditation. I cocked an eyebrow, not letting him have the satisfaction of seeing my slight surprise.

He held up a cup of my white tea, and looked hopeful. I wanted to talk to you. And hoping it could possibly be less violent than last time." Beast Boy shivered, no doubt remembering the last time he tried to have a deep conversation with me. I had to meditate for hours to regain my composure.

That day in mid summer, he'd said it to be around three weeks after he found out, he came to my room while everyone else was otherwise preoccupied. Beast Boy had a look of determination on his face, but his eyes were worried. I wondered what he wanted, never guessing that he would know one of my secrets. Once he began to explain, I was a raging mess. He said that by hurting myself I was hurting my friends. Then he said that it wasn't a very smart thing to do. I had let loose all I felt, without caring. My window had completely shattered and Cy had a lot on his hands with fixing more than a few electrical appliances within the house. I was royally pissed off. Those words, "You're hurting us… All of us, Rae." They sunk in and made me feel like nothing else I could ever know. It scared me, and then angered me. How dare Beast Boy say that! He didn't know why I did it, or how hard all of the things I dealt with was. The green boy that had stood before me with a fire in his eyes knew _nothing_ of how it hurt not to feel, how I longed for just a smile to pass on my face without something exploding, that I literally dreamed of being happy, how much I wanted to be able to cry and not have my windows shatter… And yet, I could never explain to him those things because he wouldn't understand. No one could ever understand how it felt to be me – how it felt not to feel. Beast Boy just wouldn't get what I meant. The closest any normal person comes to not feeling is having to bite back their words or not lash out at someone they happen to be upset with. But that would never compare to the emptiness of not feeling at all. No, he couldn't understand. Even if I spent a year trying to explain, he'd only brush the subject, not fully grasping it.

Back to the present, I looked at him dryly, taking the tea. Finally, I moved aside.

The boy stepped in with a grateful smile. A bit sheepish, he walked over by the window, a safe area that he couldn't hurt. "Did you have a good time meditating?"

"Yes."

"I can see why you chose to meditate here. It's very lovely."

Trying to not seem as taken aback as I was, I repeated my last reply. Since when did Beast Boy use words like lovely? Or ask how my meditating went?

"Anyway, I came to talk to you about something important."

"Continue, then," I replied in my usual dry voice.

"I figured you were a bit confused about everything." He rubbed the back of his neck and grinned lightly. I know that when I told you I knew you harmed yourself, you weren't exactly thrilled. Well, I'm not really thrilled with you dong that, so I figured we needed to talk." He took a deep breathe and looked out the window again, searching for unfound answers in the snow.

"Rae, I know you probably don't see it, but all of us care for you. You're our friend – I could even call you family. If Robin or Starfire or Cyborg had figured out that you did that, how do you think they would react? Starfire would be completely upset and confused. Robin would be totally for a loss of words. Cyborg would most likely break down. We really all care for you and would hate when you hurt. But it's even worse when you're purposely hurting yourself. None of us want you to feel pain at all, and yet you hurt yourself. I'm not going to tell the others unless I absolutely have to. I don't even like knowing a secret that dark myself. I will keep it, because I don't believe in telling anyone a secret that isn't mine. That's just wrong. So I will make you a deal."

I listened, intent on figuring this out.

"If you come to me when you want to…to _hurt_ yourself, I will not only keep your secret. I will help you."

A flicker of outrage lit up within me. I pushed it back, not willing to lose my temper over him. What right did he have to threaten to expose a secret that wasn't his own? A small part of me tried to smooth it over, claiming that he was just trying to help and meant no harm at all. I did say it was a small part, however. Still managing to keeping calm, I knew what I had to do. In order to stay safe, I had to agree. So, with reluctance, I nodded. Beast Boy's smile was absolutely exuberant at the moment. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"Thank you Rae. I'm always available to talk," he said while grinning his way out of my room.

At that moment, if I had feelings I wouldn't know how to react. No one had ever told me that they would always be available if I needed them. They had hinted it I'm sure – such as Cy or Robin when I was distressed or Star when she thought I was in need of a friend – but no one had ever come out and said it clear as a bell. In another dimension where I would have emotions, perhaps I would have smiled and thanked him or even blushed. None of these things were possible however, so I just sipped at my relaxing white tea.

It was exactly how I like it.


	3. A Night On The Town

**Hello again. Still not the owner of this wonderful show. You should know that. By the way, I'm not sure exactly how you people liked the Raven POV, but it was just for the chapter. Maybe. Anyways, most of this will be in BB's POV; I just wanted to show you how she noticed his development and her feelings. Or, almost feelings if you will. Try listening to Maroon 5's She Will Be Loved and Bowling For Soup's Almost. Enjoy anyways.**

I really hoped Raven took my words to heart. Of course, I knew she hated when anyone went sentimental; it made it a bit harder on her to keep herself emotionless. For what felt like the millionth time in the couple of months I've tried to help Rae, I flopped onto the top bunk of my bed and began to think.

Thinking was something I did a lot lately, usually while doing something else. My mindless video games were now automatically programmed so that I could think and still beat Cy at the Game Station. He barely noticed, always concentrating and looking for ways to beat me. Now I didn't mind as much if I lost, but I did that less often too. I thought while I did whatever chores I was assigned, while trying to fall asleep, and more than once I'd burned tofu bacon or burgers due to going off in my own little world. No one noticed too much, but everyone in a while Robin would tell me to get my head outta the clouds or Starfire would question me on what I was thinking about. I'm sure Cyborg would have wondered and noticed immediately that I thought a lot more and stared at Raven all the time if he wasn't sneaking dates with Bumble Bee. Cy was astounded I figured it out so quickly, but I assured him I was the only one who knew. He was pretty grateful for that.

As of now I was thinking about how to convince Rae she should be able to feel – if only for a little while. That certainly wouldn't be very easy, but it had to be done. I had thought of many different ways to convince her to do this, but I had to gain her trust first. She had grown more and more tolerant of me, but I knew she didn't fully trust me yet. That was what I had to work on. A sigh escaped me while I thought of more ideas.

Giving up for now, I turned of my CD player and turned on the radio. Some bubbly song played through its end and a bunch of commercials began. That was seriously my luck. I moved to flick of the radio completely, feeling ultimately low because I had no clue how to help the girl I cared most for.

Once I heard the first add though, I wanted to jump for joy. Silently, I thanked whatever deity existed and listened intently.

"Looking for something to do this weekend? Wanting to take out that someone special? Thinking about making your girl laughing and happy but don't know how to do it? Come to the peer this weekend and enjoy the carnival! Everything from carnie games to a Ferris wheel, come to this delightful event with anyone from your friends, your sister, or your lover! It's a night for all!"

"Perfect!" I cried.

Happily I raced out to the Common Room. Raven was sitting, reading one of her books and trying to ignore Cy's annoyingly loud action movie. Robin was looking over some files and also ignoring the noise. Starfire was looking delighted while finishing up some alien dish.

"Guys, guys! We have to go to the carnival at the peer this weekend!!!" I exclaimed. They all gave me a weird look, Robin sighing and setting down his newspaper.

"Beast Boy, what if something comes up? You know the jerks out there don't care whether or not we want a weekend off." His voice was hard, but I could tell he liked the sound of a weekend off. If only he would budge his duties over a bit…

Starfire gasped, looking even more overjoyed than before. "Oh, yes, we _must_ go! I have read that carnivals are very enjoyable."

"They are! C'mon Robin, we can all keep our communicators on and if we have a problem, it would even save travel time! And it sounds fun," I pleaded. Plus, I added silently, if I can talk Rae into it it'll be the perfect thing to get closer to her with.

"Oh, please Robin!" Starfire begged.

"It does sound cool, Rob. And he has a good point ya know," Cy said over the movie's noise.

"I'll think about it," he grumbled.

Starfire cheered and began pounding Robin with questions about what exactly goes on at a carnival. He glared at me and Cyborg for agreeing but told her details. I laughed a bit and sat next to Rae, watching Cyborg battle a computer with only a sword for each player. He grunted every once in while, his fingers flying over the controls.

Raven was, of course, totally enticed in her book on some medieval sorceress and how she completely changed the world of magic for the following generations of women. I glanced at her occasionally, trying to keep my mind on the television. It wasn't really working, but I tried anyways. Finally, I gave up and just openly stared at her. I figured Cyborg noticed, but he didn't say anything. He must've been worried I would've hinted about him and Bee. It wasn't my relationship, so I didn't care. Rae was reading, her violet eyes moving swiftly across the lines, soaking up every single letter. Not once did she turn her gaze to me, but I knew she felt me watching her. I sighed inwardly but kept a smile on my face; it was best to appear happy then to get everyone down with my own little worries. Leaning back into the couch, I continued to stare at Raven. I ran over every feature of her face – as if I didn't already know them – for a long while. Eventually, Cy's voice pulled me out of my daze.

"Yo, BB. Are you okay?" He quirked an eyebrow and tilted his head towards the violet-haired girl beside me.

My grin widened the fear and sadness for the girl vanishing from my eyes. "Totally. Now how 'bout I kick your butt at the game you're _attempting_ to play?"

Cy grinned with me. "You're on."

After winning once and losing three times, I gave up for the night. Cy ragged me until I couldn't hear him due to the sliding doors leading to the hall way. Rae heavy on my mind, I headed to the shower. Once finished with that, I started to my room in just a pair of sweat pants. Making a sudden change of heart, I decided to go to the gym that was usually occupied by Robin.

For two hours, I worked on becoming stronger. And not just in the physical sense. The whole time I thought of ways to help Rae. Finally, I decided that when we went to the carnival, I would talk her (or trick, depending on her reaction) into getting on one of the rides, and actually talking to her during it. If it went really well, I would continue with the rides. And if it didn't go so well, I would find a way to fix it and – if necessary – apologize profoundly.

Finishing up, I wiped the sweat off my bare chest and forehead. Another grin was plastered on my face as I walked out into the hallway. Cy greeted my with a very confused expression. "Were you just working out?"

"Yeah."

"Woah… Er, why exactly, were you working out?"

"Ehh. I got bored."

My grin widened as he grew even more confused. "You were bored?"

"Yes, Cy. Now I'm gonna go see what Rob said about the carnival." I left my half-robotic friend in a daze and dashed to the Common Room.

When I walked into the room, still half-naked, the only one in there was Robin. The Boy Wonder sat at the table looking over some files on local criminals we'd already defeated. I sat down across from him and grinned. "Can't let go of the past? Tsk, tsk Robin."

Robin rolled his eyes and set the files aside. "I was looking at updates on their imprisonments actually. For once, the arrangements are working out quite well."

"Sooo… Have you decided whether or not to let us go to the carnival?"

A sigh escaped him and Rob looked at me with a tired worry in his eyes. However, a hint of happiness and hope hid behind the horrid feelings. "I have. I think that if we keep our communicators on at all time, and do not leave without the other Titans coming or at least being informed, it should work out. _But_, everyone **must** be informed of everyone else's places. If not, danger could strike and someone could be hurt. I don't want anything that's not supposed to happen on that night happen. And it still worries me…"

"I can stay here Robin," said a small voice from behind us. I turned to see Rae making another cup of her white tea.

"No! That wouldn't be fair, you have to come with us Rae," I protested.

"It wouldn't be good to leave you here alone and unprotected." Robin nodded at his own logic.

"I can protect myself." I could hear the seething anger behind the calm voice.

"Still," I said, saving Rob from certain death, "it wouldn't be fair."

"Beast Boy, I am not a fan of crowds."

"You don't have to hang out with a crowd." Just please hang out with me, I added silently.

"There will _be_ a crowd, Beast Boy."

"I'll protect you from the big bad people, Rae," I joked, my normal grin spreading wider.

"I don't need your help." Raven walked out the room without another word.

"Pshh, everyone needs a bit of laughter," I said, rolling my eyes. "I gotta go." I jumped up, practically running out the room. I knew how Raven was, and that she said she didn't need anyone. But I also knew the truth: she didn't _want_ anyone to get close to her because she had an irrational fear of hurting them. Sometimes I just wanted to yell at her that she was hurting us by not trying to and sometimes I just wanted to hold her and tell her it wasn't her fault, she didn't need to worry about it so much. Most of the time I just wanted to put an arm around her and whisper, softly, in her ear that everyone, especially I, would always be here. It would be so much easier if she just let herself feel the tiniest bit and see that we all love her. In very different ways, true, but we all loved her. Why couldn't she see that…?

Hitting play on the stereo, Animal I Have Become Played loudly. With a sigh, I changed songs. The next piece of music on my burnt CD was Maroon 5's She Will Be Loved. I lay on my bed, listening to the song playing a bit softer than the previous. This, I decided while listening intently, was how I felt about Rae. Every word screamed my feelings, feelings that she may never notice. I guess I'd have to start trying harder. Why not start now?

As the last words rang out of the speakers, my doors slid close.

_Try so hard…to say goodbye…_

I knocked on Raven's door softly. I heard her near-silent murmur of 'Come in," and entered. "Hey, Rae."

"Beast Boy," she greeted.

Her face said she was emotionless, but her eyes told otherwise. Raven's eyes held a hint of pain, and some regret. I noticed the anger had smoldered out almost completely...

"Why do you _really_ not want to go to the carnival?"

She looked surprised but bit it back quickly, as always. "I just don't want to."

"Do you think I'm that stupid? Everyone wants to go to the carnival at least a little bit. Even Cyborg was willing to drop his video games and car repairs and upgrades for a night. So what's _really_ bothering you?"

"You," she replied dryly.

It was my turn to bite back my feelings – anguish and sadness. "Tsk, tsk, Rae. Denial does _not_ look good on you."

"Beast Boy," she warned slowly.

"I just want to know why you're so opposed to hanging out with all of us in a public place."

Something I honestly didn't recognize flashed in her eyes. "Beast Boy… It has nothing to do with hanging out with you guys in public. It's very different…"

"What are you so afraid of?" She didn't answer my question, so I continued. "We already beat your father Rae. You don't have to worry about him any more. Are you afraid to feel? Rae, everyone should get the chance to experience emotions…"

She was shaking her head, slowly and surely as if talking to a child. "Look, I know we beat my father. But that doesn't mean I can get rid of years of worry and fear over night. And we both know that I can't feel. Well, technically I can, but I just _can't_ Beast Boy."

"Why the hell not?! You're just as human as any of us, and we feel everything! Hell, Star is an alien and she's always feeling something ten-fold what a normal person does! I can name a lot of things I'm feeling right now."

"It's not about being human; it's about what happens when I _do_ feel!"

"When you do feel, you feel human Rae. I know, don't think I'm stupid. Why do you think you were so upset about Malchior? It's because he made you feel – even under false pretenses!"

"Do not bring him in to this." Her voice was threatening and she looked away from me sharply. I knew I was practically jumping on thin ice, but this was what she needed to hear.

"See, Raven? He still makes you feel."

"The only thing I'm feeling right now is aggravation for you."

"Lying is no way to handle this. I see the pain. And I know how you dealt with it before. I'm offering you another outlet. Just come and talk to me Rae. I'm always available if you need me, I've told you this. You can throw stuff and yell or cry and say nothing, hit me if you'd like. I don't care, hurt me all you need, but please don't hurt yourself Rae. You've never done anything wrong."

The violet-eyed girl's voice shook slightly with the reply to my words. Her face was sullen and her eyes completely saddened. "Beast Boy… I do not want to hurt my friends. That's why I had to defeat my father and why I can't let my emotions get out of control. I don't want to hurt you guys like you don't want me to hurt myself. And I don't want to hurt you – you're only annoying me this much because you want to help. I've done plenty wrong and we both know it."

I felt the anger rising as I listened to her. If she only saw things like I did, she would understand so much better. "Damn it Rae, you've never done anything wrong! You've only hurt me when you won't listen or hurt yourself. I do want to help you, but you're just not letting me…"

"Beast Boy, I don't want to argue."

"I don't want you to be an empty shell."

"You still don't understand."

"You're right; I don't understand why you would chose to be so empty!"

"Because it's dangerous for me to feel!" She glared at me, standing and walking closer, practically in my face. "Get it through your head Beast Boy. If I feel anything, something goes wrong. If I cry, the windows shatter. If I get angry, things explode. And if I don't feel anything at all, we're safe. So let me stay empty! You're endangering yourself, Beast Boy, so stop!"

"I don't if I'm endangered or not Rae!"

"Why?!"

"Because, Rae, you're more important than my safety!"

I left her there, stunned and wide-eyed. I couldn't argue with her anymore, and I couldn't see the confusion in her eyes without wanting so many things I couldn't have. So I went back to the gym. Robin didn't question my entry as he left, sensing my anger and other feelings I didn't know the name of. Why was she so stubborn?

Throwing myself into working out was easier than expected. I continued for some time, and didn't stop until Cyborg sought me out.

"Beast Boy, what's up with you?"

"It's not me; _she's_ the stubborn one." I continued to run, my legs screaming to no avail.

"Raven?"

Finally, I stopped.

"How'd you know?"

"I could hear you too arguing in the garage. And Rae hasn't left her room since you have. You've been in here for about three hours. What happened, BB?"

I hung my head with a sigh, sitting on a bench and tossing my shirt in a corner. "She doesn't get it, Cy. I try really hard to get her to feel something – anything. I know her emotions control her powers, but why is she so…" I had no words to describe Rae at the moment. I loved her – in which way I wasn't sure of yet – but she gave me a migraine. I would deal until I got my point through to her.

Once again, I would just have to try harder. I left Cy with a goodnight and a promise to fix everything tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, that's when my plan began. It would all start with the Titan's night on the town. No matter how hard this would be, I vowed to stick to it.


	4. Hesitation

**Hey guys. So sorry it took so long. I didn't really have a plan for this chapter, but I figured it out and now I'm back at it! :D Anyways, I hope you enjoy. Song for this chapter: All Time Low's cover of Umbrella. I am surprised no one commented on my use of the word 'peer.' I didn't notice it until after posting, and figured someone would see the error. If I ruined it for anyone, oops.**

Not for the first time, I lay awake listening to some song I didn't even care for. Raven was constantly on my mind. How could I set this straight? She hadn't open when Star knocked, she hadn't come out when I offered to bring in more tea I'd made. Rae shut herself up in her room and refused to come out. I didn't even bother sighing this time. Instead, I lay and stared at the ceiling, turning of the annoying J-Pop crap.

Of course, I wasn't leaving the plan to help her. I just needed to re-strategize. That couldn't be too hard, could it? Why couldn't it be about twelve hours fast-forwarded, where Rae wasn't upset with me, and we were heading to the pier. Instead, it was about six in the morning and I had barely slept at all the night before – after I told Rae I cared more about her than my feelings. It was still so confusing to me.

Well, it must be for her. I stormed out of there without telling her anything at all, practically… She deserved to know something at least. A bit nervous, I jumped from the top bunk and onto the floor, heading to Rae's room. My feet padded near-silently across the carpeted floor to her doorway. Hesitation pulled at my heart and I stopped myself from knocking. Maybe she wanted some time to think it over. But wouldn't this have been enough time? Or she could still be upset – possibly pissed – at what I'd done. She would have told Starfire she was upset and would talk later then, and not just all-together ignored her. There was also the possibility that she'd been meditating the whole time… To be honest there were a ton of possibilities and I didn't have all night to conte-

"Just open the door." Her voice wasn't as cold as always, and it held no frustration. I opened the door with my hesitation gone.

"Hiya Rae."

She inclined her head, sitting with a book and large cup of black tea.

"What happened to your relaxing white tea that you have to special order?"

"They sent me a sample of this. Did you really come for more stimulating conversations of tea variations?" I knew she wasn't being coldly sarcastic as usual, just questioning me.

"No. I wanted to explain about earlier."

Raven stiffened, but that was it. She made no move to throw me out or threaten me because I was going to make her feel something. I exhaled a breathe I knew I had been holding for a little while.

"You don't have to," she insisted.

"Yes I have to," I persisted.

"Beast Boy…"

"Rae, I'm being serious. Just let me explain why I said what I did earlier. Please," my voice broke on that little word. She turned her face from me and nodded slowly, giving me the okay. "We've been friends for years Raven. All of us have been friends for a long time now. And sometimes our bonds get deeper. You think of Cy and Robin as brothers now, right? And Starfire is like a best friend or sister to you. Well Robin and Star clearly love each other further than family ties are concerned. Bumble Bee and Cy have been sneaking dates here and there too. All that's left is us. Rae. I've thought about this for a while. Even before I figured out your secret, I was contemplating on this. What I said wasn't out of the blue as far as I'm concerned. But it was for you. I guess I should have thought about what I said, or talked to someone about it before something like it happened. I didn't though, so it was just blurted out. I care about you a lot Rae. More than I knew I could, actually. I didn't really plan to act on it like this because of your whole non-feeling, but… I'm not sure what happened.

"The words just burst out of me, and they were the truth. Maybe they got bored sitting in my mind the whole time, but either way they escaped. The point is I love you in some way I haven't decided."

After saying those words I didn't even plan, my heart was racing and I couldn't look at Raven. I knew she wouldn't throw herself in my arms or blush and admit she'd been waiting for those words. I knew she wasn't like other girls. That's why I was here in the first place.

"And…I wanted to give you just a day, even an hour, for you to let lose and feel all those things you have held inside. I want you to be able to express yourself around me. I thought the carnival would be the best place to start."

The violet-eyed girl looked at me looking at the floor. She said nothing still… I wondered what was going through her impossibly complicated mind but didn't have the heart to question it. Instead, I waited for her to say something. My heart was freaking out on me and my stomach was turning the tables. Just knowing I let all of those things out made me want to faint or puke. Or both.

"So, I uh…was wondering if you wanted to go to the pier with me tonight. Not really as a date, but not as friends either…"

"Ca…can I get back to you on that?" Rae's voice shook and quivered like I'd never heard it. I was almost afraid.

"You- you're not going to do anything bad, right, Rae?" The quivering in my voice now matched her own. I gulped and prayed to whatever deity was above that she would answer negatively and it would be the truth.

"I just need…to think Beast Boy."

"Thank you, Raven." I walked out of her room, not knowing to feel productive or sunken. Whatever would come out of this, calmness took over and I needed a nap. Jumping back onto the top bunk, I shifted into a cat and curled up.

The sleep was peaceful enough; later turning into a nightmare I knew about but could not escape. Raven out right refused to acknowledge my love for her and ignored me constantly. Nothing I did ever provoked from her. I woke up covered in sweat and human, yet again no feeling good enough. For the second time this morning, I went to the gym and began an agonizing workout. I didn't care.

Raven needed someone better and I needed to be that someone. So I would be, and it didn't matter what I had to do to be it.

**This was a little on the short side, but forgive me – I had to prepare for the climax. **


	5. Decisions

**I know I promised I wouldn't do anymore of Raven's POV, but this was just the greatest moment in the world to do this. I just couldn't help it. I listened to Anna Nalik's Breathe (Two A.M.) and Dani California by the Red Hot Chili Peppers for this one. Hope you like it, despite my lies. :D**

Not for the first time in the past months, I gave up meditating very quickly and leaned against my window. Beast Boy should _really_ stop making me think like this. I was starting to wonder if he even _realized_ how hard this was for me. I knew I loved all the Titans, in a much suppressed way, but they all knew it as well. Anyone could tell Robin and Starfire were bound to be more than friends; and Bee and Cy were not surprising in the least. My head hurt, though, thinking about feeling _more_ for Beast Boy. He was a great friend, ally, and person. Many girls had started to flirt with him lately, even though I figured he mourned Terra still, as I did my own 'suitor' that had lied and been lost. Beast Boy did not call me beautiful, or flatter me as Malchior had. However, he was always there when I needed him (even if I didn't admit it) and I knew Beast Boy would never betray me as Malchior had done. Malchior could never have helped me through any rough times, or been there to stand up against my father with me as Beast Boy (and the other Titans) had done.

I sighed. Comparing my two 'suitors' would get me nowhere. Or maybe, it would… I was so confused.

Beast Boy was there to make me smile, always having a lame joke up his sleeve. His antics never failed to be amusing, whether or not he meant for it to be. There was no doubt he was a great friend, someone you could confide in and who would listen relentlessly. I had no doubt that he was joking about loving me more than what he expected to, After all, that was one of the few times I'd heard his voice break without laughter, or witnessed Beast Boy being serious about something. Another sigh escaped my barely parted lips.

I knew sitting here did nothing, so I went to refill my teacup. Stepping outside the sliding door, I heard nothing from Beast Boy's room. Continuing on, I found myself searching for his presence, and feeling his own troubled mind in a light sleep. Apparently, it was pretty late; no one occupied the Common Room.

Waiting for the water to boil, my thoughts turned again to Beast Boy. I thought that there couldn't be any harm in spending time with him. However, there would be harm if we did it in a public place, as I would be feeling and something would just be bound to go wrong. So maybe if we tried hanging out a more secluded place first, see how that goes, and work from there… That would have a less dangerous chance… I thought of this still as I poured the water into the cup and dunked my teabag into it a couple times. Everything was so confusing when it comes to Beast Boy. At least, it was lately.

Finally, I just decided that hanging out with him could be good or bad – and I think it would help me understand some things – but if we were to, it must be in a private place. I sipped at my tea and thought of what he would say. Beast Boy probably wouldn't care, but I'm sure Robin would. Why was I even thinking about this? And why did I feel a bit defiant when I realized Robin wouldn't really approve of us leave the Titans and going somewhere else for the night? This was all too confusing. Finishing my tea, I decided to leave it at that and go to bed. If I were still confused in the morning, meditating would surely help me.

Making my way through the hall, past Beast Boy's room, I found myself wondering exactly why he wanted me to feel something so much. I can get that the other Titans found it hard to believe that I seemed perfectly content with not feeling (when I was not) and wondered if I _wanted_ to feel anything. None of them had ever flat out told me they wanted to make or help me feel, to assist me in letting go of some emotions I couldn't burn off. It really surprised me. And I knew Beast Boy claimed he loved me in some way, and I loved him as far as I knew. However, I loved all the Titans; Robin, Star, Cy, and Beast Boy included. So why would Beast Boy be any different from the others? I just could not figure that out…

Curling into myself on the huge bed, I let my thoughts drift to what it would be like to feel something for someone, something for Beast Boy. Part of me urged myself to look further into it, while more of it recoiled from the emotions it would bring.

Awakening the next morning was the same as usual, apart from the weird feeling I had in the back of my mind. I tried to remember if I had something to do, but other than telling Beast Boy about the carnival, I could not think of anything. Forgetting it, I changed and began my morning meditation. Beast Boy weighed heavy on my mind, my inner-self arguing with my logic over whether or not my decision was safe. I almost gave up on going at all. It was very tempting; I didn't want to hurt anyone. Of course, my mind was whispering that I did not want to harm Beast Boy mostly, but I did not want to harm any of my friends. Again, it whispered to me, saying it wasn't the same. I mentally cringed from the voice, sick of the strong feelings it stirred within. Turning to my meditation, I forgot the world of reality for quite some while.

A knock at my door stopped me from escaping for a longer period of time.

"Come in," I called to the door behind me. I turned to see who it was.

Cyborg stood in my doorway, looking apprehensive but with defiance in his stance. "Hey Rae," he greeted. I inclined my head, a motion of greeting and telling him to sit at the same time. Cy awkwardly sat in a chair. "Uh, are you really going to take BB up on his offer about the carnival?" he asked.

My face heated slightly, not sure where this was going and therefore producing worry to pit in my stomach. "I was thinking about going somewhere besides the pier, because it could be dangerous. Beast Boy can't be talked out of this, even if it endangers him…" The last part came out slowly and quietly, the words feeling odd on my tongue. They were heavy and lacked with something remotely like worry. "So I may as well, even if I'm not sure where all of this will lead to."

Cyborg nodded, looking a bit more apprehensive than when he had been standing in the doorway. "BB's really got his heart set on this one, Rae. He's practically obsessed with helping you feel something lately. I don't get it."

'And I hope you never do…' I thought. Also, I could think of other ways to let me deal with the emotions I couldn't release. Beast Boy just found it an unhealthy and unnecessary way to do things. I just found that it worked, and hurt no one. When I had told Beast Boy that, he all but bared his animalistic teeth at me. 'You're hurting _yourself_, Rae, and if the others knew they'd be hurt too. You're hurting me by doing this Rae,' his fierce, whispered voice had said. That little explanation had tugged on my heartstrings, and I stopped hurting myself soon after. Hurting my friends was the only thing I did to make myself good. If I hurt them at all, I was just as good as my father had been. I refused to allow that to happen again. Even if the allure of the blade called back to me, and it was so much easier then just feeling anything… A month and a half clean was not a lot to gloat about, but it was progress nonetheless.

Instead of explaining, I merely shrugged at my brotherly figure. "Why ever he does it, he does seem very set."

"So you're going with him tonight, huh?" Cy seemed to mull over the thought with amusement, until his face changed with sudden urgency. "Uh, I just remembered I have to do something. See ya, Rae!"

He left before a reply could even register in my mind. I figured continuing to meditate would do me no good whatsoever, so I picked up my latest book. For half an hour, I lived in the medieval times with the first 'coven' of female witches with enough power to overrule the kings that defied their heritage of spell casting decided to start a war. In the end, the women's magic overpowered the men and the 'good' was victorious.

Setting the book down gently, I stepped into the hallway and made my way into the Common Room. I glided to the refrigerator and took out an apple, and then set the teakettle on the burner. Robin and Star waved to me, but did not approach the table. Rob was trying to show the red haired alien how a carnival at the pier worked. His attempts were pretty amusing. Cyborg was too immersed in his new video game to notice any difference.

Beast Boy walked through the sliding doors as I blew on the hot liquid that had become my tea. He took a seat across from, smiling brightly. "Hey, Beast Boy."

"Good morning, Rae." He was very cheerful, drinking from a soda can and looking at me with piercing eyes.

"It's one o'clock."

I could hear Cy snicker, the volume having been turned down to a tolerable level after Robin had grown annoyed with the comical sound effects.

"So have you decided?" The green boy before was slightly flushed but eager, hoping for an answer that wouldn't break his heart in two. He looked at me expectantly, and I could feel Cyborg's eyes on me as well.

"I'll go, but not to the pier. There will be too many people, and even if you don't care for your own well-being, I care for others'. So we have to talk to Rob and choose another place to go to." My even voice gave little emotion away, but the near-nervous flush of my cheeks that I prayed no one noticed made up for that.

Beast Boy broke out in an even larger grin, and shot off. He was hurriedly talking to Robin while I bit into the last of my red apple. A couple sips of tea later, he was back, sitting next to me instead of across from me. "Rob was pretty mad at first" – I had already seen that – "but he said that if we don't go too far from the pier it would be fine." His eyes were shining with hope, and I allowed him a bit of a smile.

"I'll see you at five-thirty, Beast Boy." His face haunted me all the way to the bathroom, and throughout my shower. Why was he so hopeful? We would probably just go to late lunch or something anyways. It wasn't as if every problem I'd ever had would be solved in a couple hours out with Beast Boy. I settled on the answer that men were confusing, and went to prepare myself with meditation.

Knowing the green Titan, I would need it.

**Ahhh, its short again, isn't it. I apologize, my fans. Thank you all for the reviews/favorites/alerts. I appreciate them all! I hope you enjoyed the chapters. Reviews are adored, but not necessary. :D**


	6. A Good Team

**Hiya people. I hope you haven't waited too long for this! **** Anyways, thank you to all the reviewers, alerts, and favorites! You guys make me feel so special. :D These people, who go to the extra lengths to make sure I know they love my story, are just amazing and totally deserve this shout-out. In the last chapter, I will thank each of you separately, but not yet. **** Please enjoy.**

It was five twenty when Rae and I met outside the Tower. The others had gone ahead, each wearing the holographic rings we wore now. Instead of her usual look, Rae now had longer, black hair with a purple shine to it. Her eyes were the same, since she refused to change them. Raven was clothed in a pair of slightly ripped blue jeans and a black short-sleeved top, covered by a black jacket that hung to her knees. On the back stretched a pure white raven covering most of her lower and mid back, while her shoulders were nearly consumed in its snowy wings. At her throat lay a choker resembling the stone she usually wore on her forehead. She did not look as she normally did, but I found her beautiful nonetheless.

I grinned sheepishly, rubbing my Caucasian-colored hand on the back of my neck. "Hey, Rae."

"Hey, Beast Boy." For the second time today, she graced me with what was almost a smile.

My heart leapt and I offered her my arm to walk to the edge of the island. "Are you ready for this?" My comment made worry spread over her face. I quickly saved my self and this chance. "I mean, usually you hate spending time with me. Are you sure you can handle more than an hour _alone_ with me?"

"I can handle whatever you throw at me." I believed it.

I laughed at her unintentional joke and asked her if she was ready to fly. We slipped our rings into our pockets and took off; she followed my lead to an empty part of the beach. As promised, Cyborg had left a picnic basket and portable stereo hidden between two rocks on the southeast side of the sandy land.

Fighting against a slight breeze, I attempted to spread out the blanket. Raven approached me with an amused look, taking one end of the blanket and lowering it as I did the same to the other one. Finally finished, I grinned triumphantly. "I guess we make a pretty good team, huh Rae?" The girl sat down across from me, a wry look on her face. She stiffened a bit when she heard that, but other than that stayed the same. I sighed inwardly at the withdrawal. "We are alone on this little piece of Earth, Raven. You can relax, laugh, let _go_. Just try it." I beamed at her, hoping to encourage her in sharing something about her emotions. That's what we were here for after all.

I pulled out a thermos of her white tea, pouring some into one of her teacups I'd packed ahead of time. She grinned a bit more, seeing the still-warm liquid slosh into the white, porcelain cup. I handed her the cup and pulled the food out of the basket. As soon as Rae saw it, I could feel her urge to face-palm. A sheepish smile made its way across my face and I rubbed the back of my neck again. Sitting in my other hand was two apples. That was all.

"Beast Boy… Aren't you supposed to bring actual food for a picnic?" she deadpanned.

"Ehehehe. Well, you don't like tofu, but you like apples. I like apples. I figured we could just go get pizza later. Besides, apples are food! Just, ya know…not very filling foods. Unless you eat a whole of them, that is…" She gave me a slightly annoyed look and I gave in, holding up my hands in surrender. "Okay! We'll go for pizza later, but now we sit and enjoy the apples, tea, and sharing your feelings." She grimaced and I laughed, both of us knowing this would be more than a bit hard for her.

"Where to start…" she muttered.

"Hmm… Tell me a joke!"

Her look was skeptic as she glanced up from the tea at me. "What?"

Raven's word and facial expression sent me into another bout of laughter. When I finally stopped, I grinned up at the disguised hero. "Okay, no jokes then; how about we start with something smaller? Like…" I really hoped what I was about to try worked… "What did you feel whenever we argued?"

Rae bit her lip, thinking about something. I leaned against one of the layered rocks and awaited what the beautiful girl before me would say.

"At first, I was angry. Why would you go off and say all those things if you knew that I couldn't do anything about it? Then I wondered why you would say those things in the first place. Moreover… I was left confused… I don't see why you would ever want to love anything about me – let alone be in love with me."

I looked at her, completely stunned. There was no way she just said that. There was no way she had just asked how I could be in love with her, or that she had just confided something like that to me. I looked at Raven in pure wonder, completely unsure about what to say or if I should say something at all. Taking a deep breath, I looked into her confused, violet eyes with my own confused, green orbs. Raven's face was near pink, in contrast to her usually paper white skin. A thought of how different she was compared to normal flashed across my mind. Rae was looking at me with that slight blush, her face a bit sad and embarrassed. I wanted to tell her so many things, but settled for one that would I hope would convince her that I loved her with reason.

"They say opposites attract, but I think that only happens when someone has something you need but don't have. I love you because you're everything I'm not, and you're so strong and beautiful and elegant…"

"Beast Boy, you don't have to say all those things."

"Rae, they're true. What would I gain by lying to you? Besides, I'm sure you could tell if I was lying to you or not." The grin on my face was near smug, but I was smart enough to let it be totally assured.

Her eyes pierced me for a minute more. "You really think that, don't you?"

"Don't _you_?"

She hesitated, and I sighed. Raven was withdrawing again.

"No, I don't, not really."

Okay, I was completely wrong there. She had been preparing herself, I guess.

"You should Rae. You're amazing."

The violet-eyed girl sighed, finishing her tea and placing the cup in front of her. She sat back against a large rock and closed her eyes, long lashes forming silent half-moons on her cheeks. "I'm a demon Beast Boy. There is nothing amazing about that. I'm destined for evil, one way, or another."

"It's_ amazing_ that you decided you would never give in and never give up, when most people would be completely power- or money-hungry. A lot of others would use their powers for anything _but_ helping people, Rae. Instead, you chose to be a Titan and help Jump City out of the goodness of your heart."

She turned her closed eyes away, hair falling over her cheek as she did so. I resisted the urge to brush it away. "There isn't anything amazing about my heart," she muttered.

"Then why's it beating so fast?"

Her face flushed, and she continued not to look at me. I grinned, she was uncomfortable but I was getting somewhere with this.

"I can hear it, Raven."

"Beast Boy… Explain why I care for you. I can't." Her voice held a weakness I'm sure no one else had ever heard; it was almost desperate.

"What are you feeling now? I know you're feeling something. Please, tell me." My own voice was subdued and desperate, hoping for something most people would call very impossible and out of my reach.

"Flustered and confused, I feel really tired. My heart keeps beating faster and my head is light; my stomach is twisting too."

Her eyes opened, and I saw a kind of hope in them. It was a kind of hope I'd really only seen in Starfire's eyes when she looked at Robin or when I looked in the mirror while I was thinking about Raven. Maybe I had gotten somewhere, without even realizing it. I scooted closer to her, about a foot across from the flustered girl. Rae looked apprehensive, and I wanted to calm her down with a reassuring hug. I figured that was too much too soon, so I did not.

"Why did you hurt yourself, Rae?"

I'd asked her this a million times and it only ended in a million arguments. She hadn't told me, but I hoped she would now.

"I…I wanted to remind myself that I _did_ feel, even if the emotions were subdued the pain wouldn't be."

"Didn't you think there was another way?"

"No, not then I didn't."

Before I could question her about what she figured would be a good way now, she spoke again.

"Thank you, Beast Boy. I know I haven't actually felt something, like you do, but I've already felt a whole lot more than usually. And, nothing has happened so far. If I'd have known we could talk this freely without something exploding… I should have done this a long time ago."

I brightened totally, another grin breaking out on my face. I could not believe this was really working out like I wanted it to. This was close to being too good to be true! "Raven, I'm really glad this is helping you so much. I didn't think this would work so well, actually."

"There's something about you that always makes the world seem a little less dark, Beast Boy. You make a little happier when I see you. As if my day suddenly isn't so bad, and maybe I can be something besides evil."

"You already are something besides evil, even if you don't listen to me about it."

"Thank you for trying."

"Thank you for trying to feel something."

Raven said nothing, leaning her head back against the rock once more. Her face had lost its blank, emotionless expression and was now replaced with relaxation and something like amusement. I resisted another urge, this time to stroke her cheek. I had no clue how love could give you the oddest urges and make them seem completely normal to no one but yourself. I shrugged it off; not everything could be explained anyways. I moved next to her, our body neat mingling. I shivered at how close she was.

The wind whipped around us again, sending us into a fit of shivers. I inched closer, out body heat mingling even more than before. Rae didn't notice. With her face completely relaxed, I could almost think she was asleep. But no, like a cat, Raven was always more alert than she seemed. I grinned and leaned back against with her, letting the dying breeze rustle the edge of the blanket. For now, I did not worry about the two apple cores of the other teacup. I just sat back and enjoyed Raven's company.

The sun beat softly on my face. We really should do this more often. I realized dimly that the Titans didn't really get out and do anything besides shop for what was needed, fight the bad guys, and go out for pizza. Pretty much, we shut ourselves off from the world when we weren't saving the city. I didn't really like that little fact.

Ignoring the annoying truth, I tried to enjoy the rest of our time on the beach.

**Ehehehe. Sorry this took so long, I put out two new stories. If any of you like Death Note or have read the Modern Faerie Tales series by Holly Black, check them out! And review to both please. :} Enjoy your day and thank you to my fans! You all rock.**


	7. All Things Naurally Green

**Disclaimer: Hello, people that read this story! I am **_**really sorry**_** this took so long. I just had a bit of writer's block for a couple weeks. :] I'm back now; so please enjoy! Moreover, I still own none of the characters. I listened to a really long mix CD while writing this, with lots of Cascada and Three Days Grace. Wow… That was an odd mixture.**

We had already packed up the small picnic, magically (not literally) managed to fit the portable radio into the basket, and started out walk to the larger part of the beach where the carnival was being held. I carried the basket, walking backwards in front of Raven with my hands and the basket behind my head. Of course, I was still grinning at her.

"So where are we going now?" she mused, a very entertained look on her lovely face.

"We are heading to the carnival! No worries, Rae; we won't stay very long. Just long enough for a short ride or two. It'll be fun, I swear." I gave her a huge smile, and she rolled her never-changing eyes at me. "Hey, tell me if I'm about to run into anything. okay? I wouldn't want to hurt the natural things around here." Rae didn't say she would, but her almost-smile was back. I took it as a good sign.

"Rock," she called. I expertly moved to the left. The violet-eyed girl raised her brows at me.

"I'm just _that_ good. No lie."

"Sure you are," she teased lightly.

"For the record, I'm much more coordinated than Cy."

Dear Irony took her turn on me now. As soon as I said it, I tripped. Truth be told, he landing was totally perfect for the moment – completely flat on my back. But when I saw Rae quickly cover her mouth to hide the quiet giggling, it was all worth it. I lay there for a moment, silently looking up at her. Her bangs fell in her eyes, barely letting me see the purple orbs. Rae's hands, just a bit darker than usual, covered her smiling lips. The sleeves of her jacket had fallen, exposing her wrists, which were just as pale as her hands. Seeing them made me smile. No angry red slashes were decorating them today, or lately actually. Only a few thin, pale pink lines remained, showing her steady improvement to all.

She bent her knees, squatting to almost my height. "I don't think Cyborg would have tripped like that, Beast Boy."

"Is that because I'm the only one that can make you giggle?" I quipped back.

"I think it's because you're only hand-eye coordinated." She stood with a look a little smugger than before.

Managing to stand up, I teasingly rolled my eyes at her. "I'm very coordinated. Beaches just don't like green things that much. Why do you think we don't see any grass around here? It's because beaches are racist against all green things."

"You're not green right now," she pointed out.

"It can sense my true nature."

"Yeah, right." She rolled her eyes, but this time they were smiling her mouth's smile. My heart beat harder against my chest at that. And I didn't really mind.

"It's not tripping you is it? Why would it be mean to just me? See, beaches totally hate green things. You know, I base my idea purely on facts. I don't see why you won't accept the truth already Rae. Tsk, tsk. Like saying you aren't beautiful." I was **not** supposed to say that out loud… Oops. I panicked, deciding to go with it anyways. "That's based on facts as well, Raven. You should be ashamed of your self."

Her face flushed and she looked towards the vast body of water on her left. Her eyes wouldn't meet mine for a long moment. "_You_ should be ashamed, Beast Boy."

"And why is that?"

"Lying gets you no where in life."

"It's not a lie, its simple logic." She raised her questioning eyes to mine with an odd look.

"Says the boy who believes beaches can be racist."

"Hey, if you were green like me, you would understand. Since you aren't, I won't hold it against you." Raven grinned at me but didn't say anything after that. 'Why not go with what I already had?' I thought. 'As long as it doesn't totally mess the night up, I should be alright with this.'

"You don't have to be green to see that you're really beautiful though, Rae. You just have to have common sense. Before you even say it, yes I have common sense. It's just not very exercised, as Cy would put it."

Raven still said nothing, only gazing over the rolling grey-blue sea. We walked the remaining distance to the pier with that almost-awkward silence settled between us.

The pier was all lit up with laughter and large crowds and couples and solo people all smashed together on it. We looked around, waiting in line to get tickets for a few rides. A Ferris wheel spun around with lights flashing madly. The forever-a-classic Merry-Go-Round sat next to it with giggling children riding the horses and a few cuddling couples on the benches. Other rides were placed here and there, separated by crowds and games. Music blared from the closet ride – the Moby Dick. The ride was just twenty seats right next to each other, set against a whale backdrop. People were laughing and screaming – I wasn't really sure if they screamed in fear or thrill though. They were perched in the seats and being thrust around and up, only to repeat the sequence. I stared at the Moby Dick, in all of its laughing, excited, lit-up brilliance. Rae stared up at it too, a slightly apprehensive look plastered on her always-beautiful face. Smiling, I bought twelve tickets for ten dollars, just in case…

I wondered if I could manage to get her on the ride. Its line wasn't long, and people seemed to enjoy it a lot…

"Rae…"

"I am not getting on that, Beast Boy." She looked defiant.

"Look at it! They're all laughing and having fun. C'mon, you'll totally love it. I know you will, Rae!"

"They're all screaming and looking afraid, actually."

"Please, I know it'll be great."

"That ride could not possibly be great."

"Are you scared?"

"It doesn't look fun."

"You said you could handle whatever I throw at you, Rae. Are you sure about that now?"

"I can."

"Then let's ride it!"

"I don't want to."

"Raven," I said with a much more serious tone, "would this ride scare you?"

She glanced up at it with her lovely violet eyes. "It does not look like fun," she repeated cautiously. The guarded voice she used was very familiar. I sighed, waiting for her to look back at me. I knew the warning in her voice. There were people around and if she did get scared, something could happen. She didn't believe in herself.

"Have a little faith, Rae. You won't hurt anyone."

"You don't know that."

"What about this: if you get on this one ride with me, you can choose what we do for the rest of the night. Even if it is just heading back to the Tower early, you can choose. Just ride this one ride, Raven. Please. I won't let you get scared." I smiled at her, hoping to convince her she was tougher than she thought.

Raven glanced up at the ride again, looking half-defeated and half-apprehensive. "How do you plan to make sure I'm not scared?"

The line was moving; people were getting on. I didn't answer her, only ushered Rae towards the Moby Dick. We managed to snag the last two seats with four tickets. Settling into the second-to-last seat, I peeked over at Raven. The violet-eyed girl still looked scared as she fumbled to buckle the protective strap. With a quiet grin, I gently remove her pale hands and buckle it – securely – myself.

"Thank you," she mumbled. Since she was not willing to speak any more, Rae put a death grip on the two armrests at her sides.

The ride began slowly. As soon as it picked up a little speed, Raven sent me a panicked look. I smiled at her, placing my Caucasian hand over hers. "Calm down, Rae. It's just a carnival ride."

Unable to calm down by herself, Raven clutched my hand with both of hers. "Raven, it's okay, I promise." She looked at me, sitting there perfectly fine while she practically freaked out over a ride. "It's just a ride Rae. It can't hurt you; you're just fine. I swear, Rae, the ride isn't going to hurt you and you won't hurt anyone else. Just calm down..." I continued to reassure her and by the third time around, she wasn't even gripping my hand that hard. "See, Rae? I told you it wasn't horrible. You're almost enjoying the ride now." My grin was ear-to-ear as I said this to her.

"It's not horrible, just not fun. Like I said before…" She shot me a dry look. "At least it could have been worse," Rae said, her gaze softening somewhat.

"There's your positive outlook!"

Her look made me laugh. "C'mon, you even released the death grip on my poor hand. That's very impressive, Rae. You should be extremely proud of yourself." We both knew that the last part carried more meaning than the rest of the sentence, and she gave me a small smile in return.

"I guess. By the way, your hand brought it upon itself." Raven's hold tightened as we were thrown to the left with the ride. I squeezed her hand back tightly, reassuring the beautiful girl beside me once again. Her eyes avoided mine for the third time that day and it was the second time her face was flushed with a color somewhere between red and pink. I smiled to myself and kept her hand in mine for the remaining part of the ride. She was even laughing by the end of it.

We got off the ride with matching smiles. Instead of shooting off to somewhere safer as I figured Rae would do, she ushered me to the back of the line to get on again. The guy working the ride laughed whenever he saw us again, taking out tickets with a wide grin. Raven and I took the exact same seats. This time Raven was laughing with me the entire time. After the second time around on that, we rode the Ferris wheel. While we waited to climb into the cages of the giant wheel, Rae told me she was only afraid of the Moby Dick because it creaked more than the other rides. It made both of us grin a bit wider to hear about her silly fear.

Once all of our tickets were gone, Rae and I went to do the exact thing I promised we would – get pizza. Sure, there was the war debate of the toppings (which we settled by getting half-and-half), some really sore hands, a couple of falls (traffic light poles aren't that fond of naturally green people either), and a spilled drink, but it was the best night of my entire life. I loved the rides and the talk on the beach, even the pizza was great. But the best part of the night, in my honest opinion?

It was that Rae never let go of my hand.

_That_ was the best part.

'Hands down.'

**Again, I'm sorry for the wait. Also, sorry this one wasn't that long! This chapter was pure fluff, if you didn't notice. I hope you enjoyed this one as well as the others! Review, people. :] It's been one of my favorite to write.**


	8. My Kind

**Hello people! I am back, finally. It took much longer than I expected and I apologize greatly for that. My Wi-Fi has not been fixed, but I can finally write! Please enjoy and review. :] Also, it would be wonderful if you could tell me what these people eat/drink besides pizza, tea, and tofu. :} Thanks in advance to anyone who drops me a line. I listened to Maroon 5 and The All American Rejects while writing this time.**

"B? Hey, BB!"

"What, Cy?" I groaned through the door.

"Rob wants to talk to you."

"'Kay." I pulled myself out of the bed I had just thrown myself on… I glanced at the clock on my nightstand… Three hours ago. I was tired. Between two idiots attempting to rob a bank, a hostage situation at the video store, and a prison break – after being drilled by Cyborg about what happened at the carnival – caused me to gain a total of four hours of sleep. Which included my nap. I needed to rest soon.

When I entered the Common Room, he was the only one there. Robin sat at the table quietly, going over some sort of paper work. I yawned and made my way towards him without speaking. "Beast Boy," he greeted with a nod. Robin hadn't even looked up. I was used to it though.

"Hey, Rob."

The silence continued for a bit. He didn't look up at me – only the digits and occasional letters on the papers. It was sort of nerve-wracking the way he made no move to get to the point. That wasn't really how Robin worked.

"You wanted to talk" I finally blurted.

Robin waited until he'd jotted down a few more notes next to all the figuring he'd done on the page. Then he finally met my eyes with his own. Something serious glinted in them. For the first time I began to wonder why the Boy Wonder had called me down here. I wasn't sure what we were about to talk about, but the no-nonsense that pooled in his eyes made me nervous.

"Lately, you've been improving. You train a lot more, you've gotten faster, and you change quicker." I cracked my knuckles under the table, thinking of how natural but uncomfortable my shifting was. "You don't even miss a beat and I've seen the way you work out now. You spend less time hanging out with Cyborg and playing video games, too." Robin leaned back n his chair, eyes still hard and now curious.

"Why are you doing it?"

I blinked. _That_ wasn't what I really expected. "Cy's just gotten sooo easy to beat-" I started to joke. His face stopped me. Robin was serious this time. So I gave him the truth. "You guys shouldn't have to pick up my slack. I should have been this good a while ago. Until lately, I didn't care that much."

"And why is that?"

This, I hadn't thought about as much.

Everyone had something they seriously wanted to do. Maybe they had something or someone they wanted to protect with their life. I never really had any goals that took a while to accomplish, and my parents were long ago dead. All of my friends could easily take care of themselves in just about any situation. So that left me with virtually nothing to try for. And doing it for myself seemed like something selfish and useless. So that one was right out the window. I always knew that even if I had nothing to be better for, I wanted to be better. Then I saw the raven that injured herself purposely. She gave me a reason. She gave me something to fight for, something to be better for, and someone to think of when I was ready to quit.

I wasn't about to say all of this out loud, in front of Robin, though. So, I gave him a second-best answer.

"I wanted to be better for myself and the people I love." Half-truths aren't lies, right?

Robin just nodded and stood up , heading towards the weight room in his strong silence. Exhausted, I climbed back into my bed and dreamt of nothing for five hours.

The next morning, Rae was the only one in Common Room, much like Robin was last night. But she sat in front of a cup of slightly sweetened green tea and a giant book written in some language I would never need to know. Starfire was refereeing for Cyborg and Robin's latest sparring match. I could see them from the window. It made me smile to see them so happy and alive. The actual training started in two hours. I hoped to get some weight lifting in before that. I could always change my plans to keep Raven company though.

She sat quietly – as always – absorbed in the humungo text. I peeked over her should, listening to both of our heartbeats quicken a bit. She wasn't used to people so close I guessed.

"Whatcha reading?" I asked.

"A book."

"Of what kind?"

"My kind."

"Which kind is that?"

"The kind that is so old no one remembers it had a name before."

"What a fine kind that must be!" I laughed, heading to pop a couple of bagels in the toaster and grabbed a bottle of water.

"You're in a great mood," she observed.

"Well, kicking butt and getting to sleep late without being yelled at is pretty up-lifting to me. What about you?"

"I don't sleep late."

This made me laugh again. "I figured something like that." Tying not to be obvious, I glanced down at her sleeves while waiting on the machine to pop out my breakfast. She had them pulled up a bit, and only a couple of faint, scarred lines remained. I relaxed, leaning against the table with a grin. My morning was officially great.

Rae just quirked her eyebrow at my noticeably better mood. I pretended not to notice as I slid next to her with the honey-covered bagel and water. She sipped her tea, and then glanced back at her book. I grinned as her purple orbs slid over the small text. She did everything so quietly.

Within no time, the silence was too much for me to handle. Listening to nothing but steady heartbeats and breathing easily tired me. Just as I was about to comment on how quiet she always is and entice her into a game of teasing, we were called away to fight some other bad guy. As usual, of course. In less than a minute, all of the Titans were rushing towards Jump City to save it and anyone within its limits.

Somewhere around an hour later, I was still sweating and hanging back while Robin dealt with the clean up. Starfire floated around an injured Cyborg, inspecting the damage done to his arm. Cy explained something to her, and she audibly gasped. He laughed in return, reassuring her that he was fine. All he would have to do is modify something or another. Tech talk wasn't a language I knew well. Suddenly, Raven glided right past me, a dark look on her face. I jogged after her without thinking.

No one asked where we were going, or what was going on. Even though she knew I was following her, Rae slipped on her holographic ring – and I followed suit – so we blended into the crowds of our beloved Jump City. After a minute, she slowed down and I kept a brisk pace at her side. She led us to a recluse café on a dark street. A dark-skinned teenager with a tattoo curling around his left cheek at the counter nodded to her with a grin that made his ink dance. The dark-haired girl led me to a table in the corner – only two stools sat beside the granite top. I slid into the seat opposite of her, waiting for when she was ready to talk about what she seemed so worked up about. Not that I didn't know, or anything.

Because I did know. The dark look on her face and the way her eyes were narrowed were the results from our battle that no one here would ever know we fought. I liked it that way, though. So when a petite, brunette waitress that greeted Rae as 'Rachel' took our order – one white tea with little sugar and a strong black tea – commented on the quiet girl's mood, my teammate just looked off with a glare. Our waitress took no offense, laughing it off and promising to be back soon.

While I waited for the girl before me to talk about what bothered her, I looked around the place. It was a medium-sized café with midnight colored walls and hard wood floors. The decorator went for something along the lines of a modern, cozy café with a darkened exterior. It was remotely odd, but nice. A few people sat at tables, and a teenage couple hung around the counter, talking to the inked boy. Above the boy behind the counter was an amazing painting of a lake and a tree. I looked at it for a long time, just imagining the water actually rippling the reflection of the weeping willow at its shore. The only thing that threw me out of my trance was my friend's little sigh. As always when she was upset, her face was passive.

It showed nothing.

And something about it made my heart ache. Even when she didn't have her grayish skin and purple hair, with the hood to symbolize her name – I knew that look. I knew what she would do as soon as someone left her alone. Over the months, I'd figured most of it out. When she wanted to hurt herself the most, you could barely tell. That's what I looked for – her passive face.

"Rae?" I didn't use either of her actual names. I used the name I had given her.

Her response was a small glance to tell me she was listening to whatever I had to say next. That was enough for me to go on.

"I'm glad you didn't get hurt."

Now she was more than glancing at me. The raven-clad, raven-haired, and raven-named girl half-gaped at me. Her amethyst eyes were confused and surprised – she had probably been expecting a lecture or encouraging speech that neither of us needed to hear again. I'd only told her the truth. Well, part of the truth. I hadn't said that I was glad that this time it was I who shielded her and she whom was saved.

Okay, I wasn't happy that she needed saving, just that I could help her. It's probably a good thing I didn't say that outside. I would have screwed it up and looked like a jerk. And then failed at whatever I've been trying to do all these months. Sometimes, I wasn't sure if I wanted to save Raven from herself or make her see how much I felt for her. Maybe it was both now.

"Are you serious, Be…" She trailed off, not sure what to call me in public.

"Garfield." My face was a lot pinker than it'd been a minute ago, now that I'd actually told her my name. That didn't happen a lot, actually. "And yes, I'm serious." With my face back to its original color and my grin less playful, I continued. "I didn't like that you needed help, but I'm glad I could help you."

The brunette approached with a secret smile, handing us our drinks with it fully intact. I wondered how much she had heard, and how well she knew Raven. She left without answering any of my silent questions.

As she drank her tea slowly, Raven looked at me with her wondering eyes. I didn't take a sip yet, letting it cool down first. Finally, she put down the now half-full handle-less cup. "I don't like needing help," she admitted slowly.

"I know. Sometimes we just need it. Like when I was still messing up in all of those fights. You have to remember that." My grin finished the sentence for me. "By the way, I like this better than you ignoring what I say or snapping at me."

"I like it better too."

I don't know if it was how she said it or that she'd admitted it out loud. For some reason, I had a feeling this was our decline. Disaster's decline – so it could only get better from here. We were finally somewhere besides stuck in the middle. Raven and I talked for a couple hours after she said that. She told me about how it felt to need saving, and how much she hated it. I understood and told her so. We talked about how similar and how different we are. She testily brought up how much I watched her, and worried about her. That was a subject we got through swiftly, but explained a lot. Our friends came up, her companionship to Robin and my friendship with Cyborg. The raven-haired girl told me she wasn't used to doing girly things with Star but didn't know how to get used to it. We avoided talking of relationships, Terra, and Malchior. Touchy subjects were open for discussion, but we understood. I asked about her self-harm when we were leaving.

Raven gave me the most truthful answer I could ever expect.

"I needed some way to be in control – of life, of my feelings. That was the best way I thought of at the time. Until some green weirdo told me a secret – there were better ways to do that. And he said a whole lot of other things that confused me. Men are confusing, and you are one of the worst."

Her response sent me laughing loudly as we walked down the sidewalk. People looked but never said anything straight to us. I moved closer to her, leaning down a bit. "This is the last day the carnival's in town. Would you want to come with me for a while, Rae?" She hesitated again, but only a bit. Her face gave me a tentative smile, and she nodded.

"That'd be nice. It's my kind of fun."

"Sometimes, we're the same kind. Ever notice?"

"Sometimes, we are. Yeah."

**A very short chapter, but its here. I am working on the final chapter. It will go up before or during the weekend. Thank you to all of my supporters, fans, favorites, reviewers, alerts, ect. You all are great. :]**


	9. Choice of Prizes

**Wow. Took me forever to get this up. I am so sorry people. :[ This is the end, so no more waiting for my horribly late updates! For this chapter, Stay Young We The Kings. Only one song, surprisingly.**

This time, we decided to walk on the sidewalk. I decided walking forwards was safer, considering how hated naturally green things seemed to be. The walk to the pier was quiet and comfortable. It wasn't an awkward silence, just…an absence of conversation. We didn't feel the need to talk, so we didn't. No awkwardness involved.

The pier was packed, even more so than before. Of course, it was the last night – everyone was rushing around, trying to make the best of what little time we had left. The lights still lit up brilliantly, and the people still had the same hum of happiness about them. I didn't see a sad face in the crowd. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Rae and I dodged being hit with two giant stuffed animals taller than the tiny twin girls carrying the toys; then ducked around someone trying to sell said stuffed animals. It was complete madness out here, and everyone loved it. But it made Raven nervous.

"There wasn't this many people last time," she said lowly. Her hand clasped on my upper arm, as if to stop me. She didn't, just walked closer to me.

"It's okay," was all I said. Instead of comforting her with words, I used one hand to slip her hand down my arm, and held it firmly with the other. Raven didn't object, only gripped my hand like she had on the first night.

Slowly, we wove in and out of random crowds of people. Plenty of couples walked along the carnival's length. We received many smiles from polite people, a few questioning glances from others. I ignored them all, walking at my own pace with Raven by my side. Her mood was downcast, and she shied away from anyone who came near us. I inwardly sighed, resisting the urge to put my arm around her and tell her it's okay again.

Finally, we made it to the ticket booth. After waiting in line for almost ten minutes with a comfortable silence about us, I bought ten tickets. That was enough for five rides.

"I figured you wouldn't want to be here too long with all of the commotion," I told my quiet companion. "Even though you can totally deal with all of this. You jut have to try." Finishing the small speech with a smile, I held out her half of the tickets.

She offered me a small reply as she took her tickets. "This is very hard for me."

"You can do it, though. You _have been_ doing it. Even if you don't notice it, I do. On the beach, when I tripped after saying how coordinated I am – you laughed. Sure, it wasn't a gut-buster or anything, but you were giggling a little. Nothing exploded; no earthquakes. Everything was just fine. You weren't very happy at the café in the beginning – still no shattered coffee mugs or rampaging espresso machines. Riding a few rides? Piece of cake."

She grinned a little at the ending, but said nothing as she downcast her eyes.

"I believe in you. So now what's you problem? I know just what it is. You don't believe in you."

"I just don't want to take any chances."

"That's what life's about!" I threw my arms out, gesturing to the world. "We take millions of chances in our lifetimes without even knowing it! When we step outside, cross a street, get out the shower, open the door, or eat fast food! All of this could kill us, but we take those chances. Why? Because then, we are living. So just believe in yourself or give up now." I put my arms down, looking at her seriously. Her eyes were slightly wide, and I'm sure my own were wild.

Then, she started laughing. _Really_ laughing. I was confused.

It lasted for a few minutes, her random laughing fit. Nothing detonated.

"Are you done?"

"Yeah."

"Why were you laughing?"

"Only you would consider stepping out of the shower a potential death."

"That's not even the point!" I crossed my arms and turned my blushing face away from her. "I was trying to tell you to believe in yourself," I muttered.

"Well," Raven said in a calculated voice, "I just laughed harder than I can ever remember and no one was killed. I guess getting on a few rides won't kill them either."

"And it won't kill _you_, so let's go!"

Half an hour later, we were out of tickets. Two rides on the Moby Dick, one on the Ferris wheel, a go on the bumper cars, and a single ride down a giant slide left both of us breathless and ticketless. Even if the rides were short-lived, both of us were thoroughly enjoying the time. We leaned against a concession cart, soaking up the rest of the fading sun. I leaned my head back, staring at the North Star. It was barely visible, glinting through the sunlight and a painted cloud.

"How about a game?"

I think my voice surprised her, because she jumped a bit. I'd never seen Rae let her guard down so much in one night. It was impressive.

"Sure. Which one?"

"Hmmm. I debated the strength test, but decided against it. Picking ducks and hoping for a lucky number was out. That left the sharp shooter or the one where you pop balloons with darts. I chose the latter. It wasn't much of a choice really.

"That one sound okay?" I pointed to the stand closest to us, a couple already lined up and trying to pop the oxygen-filled plastic.

"Yeah."

"Can you play?"

"I've never tried."

We strolled to the stand, which was packed with stuffed and inflated animals, both of us watching as the boy threw the last dart. It popped two balloons: one red, and one blue. The girl squealed and hugged the boy, who blushed profoundly. The balding man behind the overly stuffed counter picked up a fallen dart and retrieved the rest of them from their resting points. After the extremely happy couple was awarded a giant, inflated cartoon character, they skipped right over to the next game.

"Five for ten," the man said gruffly. I laid the money on the counter and handed five darts to Raven. Then balding man said nothing.

"I've never played." She said it as if talking to a child.

"I know." I said it with a smirk. "So play."

Hesitantly, she threw the first dart. It stuck, but didn't pop anything. The second fell, and she tried harder. Darts three, four, and five all popped a balloon. Two red and a yellow. Raven stepped back, motioning for me to take a turn.

Aiming for the biggest balloon – a green one at the top – I threw my first dart. It hit perfectly. The second only stuck. My third dart felt a little off, but it popped orange two balloons like the guy before. Four hit a purple one. Then came my last dart, I threw it carefully, trying to hit two green balloons leaning on one another. It missed, landing right above them.

Beside me, Raven smirked. "I guess the world _does_ hate naturally green things."

I stuck my tongue out at her childishly, only to earn an eye roll. The balding man before us interrupted out fun by grunting, "You've won a prize from the second shelf."

Once more, I stepped aside for Raven to take over. "Pick one," I told her.

"You did better than me," she argued.

"It's your first time, so pick a prize." Ignoring the slight frown still on her face, I pointed to the second shelf. "Anything from up there."

Raven glanced over the prizes sitting on the second shelf. Everything close to good was a stuffed animal – unless you were into collecting license plates from every state. Her eyes roamed over everything, thoughtfully studying her choices. Finally, she seemed to have decided which one she wanted. Amethyst orbs locked on it, and before I could pick it out she asked the man to get it for her.

Down from the shelf, the balding carnie pulled a green sea turtle. It's stomach was about the size of my hand when I spread it out, and its head seemed a bit too small. But I know why she picked this one, and I had to agree. It fit into out evening perfectly.

I grinned at her, watching as she held the turtle carefully. "I like your choice of prizes tonight, Rae."

"Sometimes, I hear, we are of the same kind. Maybe that's why."

My smile grew larger at her words, and practically covered my face as she reached for my hand again. "Maybe."

We were going the same way we came, back to the concession cart.

"You wanna get a soda or something, Rae?" She nearly wrinkled her nose, and I laughed. "Right. A water, then?" This time she nodded, accepting that carnivals don't carry herbal tea.

Raven and I walked around the cart, and I was surprised to find only a man getting lemonade. I was grateful for the short line.

After scanning the menu, I told the blonde man inside I wanted two bottled waters and a funnel cake. Two or three minutes later, I handed Raven one of the waters, took the other for myself, and balanced the fresh funnel cake on one hand. We resumed out spots leaning against the cart, quiet for a few seconds.

"What's that?"

"Huh?" I looked at 'Rachel', completely confused.

"What is that? In your hand?"

"A funnel cake?"

She raised her brows at me, waiting for further explanation.

"Are you telling me you've never had a funnel cake?" Her face answered my question without changing. "Here, take a bite!"

"…How?"

"You have to tear a piece off. Make sure it's coated nicely, though," I added, referring to the powdered sugar that covered the fried dough. When Raven still looked uncertain, I sat my water on the tire cover of the concession stand. "Watch." Holding the plate firmly, I took my thumb and forefinger and pinched a bit of the fried dough. Keeping the plate still, I pulled it off and popped it in my mouth. "Very easy."

I held the plate out to her, wiggling my eyebrows. Rae rolled her eyes, but I figured she was secretly amused.

Cautiously, she reached out and did the same thing I did. Only it took her other hand to keep the funnel cake still. I stopped myself from laughing at how difficult she made it look. Rae probably would not be happy if I laughed at her.

While we munched on the funnel cake – which Raven wouldn't eat a lot of due to not adoring sugar – the music started. First, it was a few songs I knew but didn't really care for – just stuff from the last decade. It wasn't until the fourth or fifth song I recognized one that I really liked. The drums started it out, followed by the guitar. No one waited long to hear the voice – usually the song's main instrument. Sadly, I didn't realize what it was until the chorus.

_We're only here for one night,  
Scream it like you mean it.  
One more time,  
We'll tear down the building.  
[Come on, come one!]  
Sing along whoa~  
{Come on, come!]  
Stay young~._

I grinned, realizing how appropriate this song was for tonight. I knew, somewhere in my mind, this wasn't playing just to describe my evening. Tons of other young couples roamed the pier, especially considering how dark it was getting. Nevertheless, part of me believed – just for a moment – that We the Kings sang for only us.

Listening closely to the song, I grinned. It was a very good song, and it fit tonight.

If I were with any girl but Raven, I might have asked her to dance in front of everyone at that very moment in time. If it were anyone but Rae, she might have said yes. We might have ended the night with a lot of laughing and maybe a promise of doing this often.

But, I figured, if it were any girl but Rae, I wouldn't feel this comfortable. I would not have this much fun. And I certainly wouldn't want to do this very often.

Tonight, I had Raven as a companion. With the way she held my hand after finishing the funnel cake and how she opened up so willingly, I had to wonder if that's all we would be in the end. Part of me was eager to see just what would happen, but a lot of me thought living in this moment – with the music and lights, fading as we made out way home – was perfect enough.

**Hmm. I'm quite happy with how it ended – seeing as though I never really thought of the ending for this story. Short but nice, I think. :] Thanks for reading. Review if you will.**


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